On Rereading and Writing

One of the things I've done quite a bit of this year is rereading my earlier work (except my book, strangely. I still haven't done that). It's a little strange how it happens, though. I don't set out to reread an essay. Maybe I've opened the file to look up some detail in a footnote. Or someone's asked to see something I've written, and I'm checking to see if it is the right version of the file. The next thing I know I'm rereading the essay from start to finish.

On the whole I enjoy rereading my finished essays, especially after some months have passed. Of course, it's encouraging to see that it is possible for me to finish something, given all the frustrations I've had this year. More specifically, though, I think I'm fascinated by the temporality of these texts. I've also been reading a lot of writing advice this year. In Eric Hayot's book The Elements of Academic Style (which I may write more about later) I found an explanation for this feeling. Hayot advises writers to "write for, and think continually of, a reader whose basic temporal experience of the work will be radically different from your own, and for whose pleasure you are essentially responsible" (52). This insight comes from a recognition of the different temporal orientations of the writer and the reader to any given text. The writer has a synchronic view of the text, an overarching perspective of the text as an "unfolding whole," but the reader has a more limited view of the text.  Hayot describes the reader's temporal view as a "passage or a journey" (51). To take a metaphor from SF, the difference between a reader's and a writer's temporal understanding of the same text is the difference between single and multiple timelines (or simplex vs. multiplex as in Delaney's Empire Star). Rereading my work provides both of these perspectives at once, and it is pleasurable. I can follow the unfolding of the text in time and appreciate the development of the argument. Layered over that reader's experience, though, is my writerly memory of the project's many different lives.

I was taken with Hayot's insight when I first read his book last Fall. I feel stalled on my writing now. Does it provide any insights I can use to get out of that funk? I think it does remind me about the importance of time, or maybe the unavoidability of time. I trick myself into thinking that the time of this sabbatical would be somehow different than the time of my real life. In some ways it is, but in others, it's not. I can't expect to turn into a different writer. Instead I need to remember the writer I am.

#AcWriMo Home Stretch

A brief vacation--planned before I decided to #AcWriMo--set me back a bit last week. I've got the draft to a good point for the last push, but there may not be time, with family visiting for Thanksgiving. Binge writing today and tomorrow may get me close, though.

#AcWriMo Week 2: The right words?

This week was all about the ephemeral nature of the finished goal. I started the week by announcing the completion of the first of my #AcWriMo goals.

Revised article off to editor. Goal 1 of #AcWriMo completely finished #getyourmanuscriptout
— Lara Dodds (@LaraDodds) November 10, 2014

Yay me! But, two days later I discovered a key example that would be perfect for my introduction, so what could I do but rewrite the introduction and send the editor a revised draft? Approximately 300 words added to my total this morning and the draft is ready to be sent to the editor tomorrow. Again. But do I dare say it's finished?

I spent the rest of the week tackling goal #2, which let me to further question the idea of the completed goal. I've got about 4500 words on what will eventually become the third chapter of the "secret" book project. I even have a pretty good sense of the shape of the argument. I've achieved what I was aiming for, but what I have is nothing like a complete draft. Instead, I've discovered where I need more research, more thinking, and more writing. Again, do I dare say I've completed the goal?

It's the halfway point of #AcWriMo, so a good time to review and maybe update my goals.

What I've learned:

• It feels good to force myself into writing before I am ready. It was exhilarating to write a rough draft of a chapter at such an early point discover my ideas. I know that writing works this way, but that doesn't mean I always remember it.
• The public announcement of my #AcWriMo goals pushed me to write when I didn't want to or normally wouldn't. Even on a day when I didn't add to my running total--Friday--I wrote for 45 minutes in my notebook and came out with a complete outline for a talk I will give in December.
• It's actually easier to hit the word count goals than I thought it would be.
• But it's a lot harder to tell if they are the right words. By the end of the week I'd come to the limits of what I could accomplish without more focused reading, research, and thinking.
• Risk-taking and the disruption of engrained habits is good, but it's also important to know your limitations.

So I came to the realization last week that I'd need to revise my goals. I might be able to cobble together the rough drafts of 3 chapters as I initially hoped. But that would also mean abandoning the the questions and problems of this chapter just as I'm starting to realize what they are.

Revised #AcWriMo Goals:

• Complete article revisions (will eventually be chapter 4): approx 500-1000 new words Done! = but actually 3000 words
• Write first draft of chapter 3 (approx. 4000 words) Write article-length draft of chapter 3 (approx. 10,000 words)
• Write first draft of chapter 1 (approx. 4000 words)
• Write first draft of chapter 2 (approx. 4000 words)
• Draft a prospectus/ book proposal (approx 1000 words)
• Weekly blog posts assessing progress and strategy (approx. 1500 words)

I'm still aiming for 15,000 words. I hope they'll turn out to be the right ones.

#AcWriMo week one reflections

A medieval feast, #Martinmas, kept me from writing my weekly #AcWriMo blog post last night; I gave myself Sundays off, though, so I can still reflect on the wins and losses of week one in time to start week 2.

Total word count for week 1= 3672. 

I also finished my first goal, which was to incorporate the required edits into an accepted article and send it off.  This took up more time that I'd hoped, but not really more time than I should have expected, if I'd really been honest with myself. The editor and reader asked me to expand the conclusion to consider the broader implications and stakes of my argument. That is important and crucial work--but never easy. About two thirds of this week's words went to this goal, as well as a considerable amount of editing time.

I wrote about 1000 words toward goal 2, and am very happy with the progress. I was amazed at how a couple hours of writing let me see the shape of the chapter and its arguments much more clearly than I'd have thought possible at this stage.  These first 1000 words might lead me to say that #AcWriMo is a win.  I wanted to see what would happen if I changed up my writing practice. I hoped the focus on word counts would help me develop my arguments at an earlier stage in the research process, and so far, it seems to be working!

I'm still cautious about declaring success, however. The first 1000 words also showed me very clearly the research I still need to do. This week I'll discover whether I can accomplish some of that research while simultaneously writing the different sections of the chapter.

I'll also need to decide whether to switch up my goals. I can get to 15,000 words this month, but I am starting to doubt my ability to write the 15,000 words that I said I would last Saturday. Is it better to have a near-complete 12,000 word chapter or 3 draft chapters of 4000 words each?

#AcWriMo2014

November 1st means the first day of Academic Writing Month. I've decided to join in this year with the hope that I'll make significant progress on my "secret" book project, learn a little more about my writing process, and jumpstart my productivity for the rest of my sabbatical.  The last is probably my most important objective. As I've already noted, I wrote a lot of new scholarship in 2013-2014, so I've been frustrated that I haven't managed to get very far on my new projects so far. Part of this is to be expected. There's a certain amount of work to do even on projects that are "done"--for instance, right now I am doing minor revisions for an essay that I drafted last Fall, submitted to the journal in May, and had accepted in September--so it's not surprising that these tasks take up more time in a year after finishing so much new writing. Nevertheless, I've been frustrated because it hasn't been as easy to work as I expected. I want to use a month of extremely intensive work to find the strategies and patterns that will get me through the remaining months of my sabbatical.

The "secret" book project is an idea that I've had for five or more years, and though it's not my official sabbatical project, I find myself more and more preoccupied with it. I've decided to make it the focus of my #AcWriMo goals because if this time away from teaching is to lead to professional renewal, I need to take risks. I've not done all the research I need for this project by any means, but I have in mind arguments that will become the seeds of the book's eventual chapters, and I want to see how far I can take these ideas if I just write them.

I can't write a full draft of the book in the space of one month. What I think I can do is write short conference-paper-length versions of 3 of the 4 unwritten chapters. Broken out, my goals are as follows:

• Complete article revisions (will eventually be chapter 4): approx 500-1000 new words
• Write first draft of chapter 3 (approx. 4000 words)
• Write first draft of chapter 1 (approx. 4000 words)
• Write first draft of chapter 2 (approx. 4000 words)
• Draft a prospectus/ book proposal (approx 1000 words)
• Weekly blog posts assessing progress and strategy (approx. 1500 words)

That brings me to a total of 15000 words, which seems like a nice round number.  If I were to write every day, it comes to 500 words/ day; however, I plan to take Sundays off, and I already have a few days off for a brief trip later this month, so it would be safer for me to strive for 750 words on each writing day.

I actually don't know if I can do this. It's not the way I usually work. Typically I am further along in the research process when I begin to write, nor do I usually work on so many different pieces in such a short period of time. This particular project has some characteristics that make me think it might be suited to this kind of work. I'll see I guess.

The greatest danger is that I will spend too much time on research and reading. The fact is, I have not done all the reading I need to do for this project.  The focus of week one will be finding a way to balance my need to learn relevant critical and theoretical contexts while pushing forward with my own arguments and claims.

The Secret Project

I suspect that most sabbaticalees have one. A Secret Project. An acknowledged yet unacknowledged project that--because it is not an official or required task--is definitely more interesting and more attractive than whatever it is that earned you the sabbatical in the first place.

I've been spending a lot of time thinking about the secret project recently. My secret project is not secret in any real sense--I've taught a class on the topic and have been telling people about it for years. Instead, it's secret in the sense that I haven't been willing to commit to it as my primary focus, even though I'm pretty sure that it is better than my official project. Hmmm. . . . . that's something to think about.

So I've decided to give myself one day a week throughout this next year to work on the secret project. I know the rough shape of the project, but still have a lot of reading and thinking to do as well. I plan to read and also do some preliminary writing. If it goes well, I'll post some of that writing here.

Looking back to go forward

Soon I want to write about my goals for the year, but before I do that I want to take stock of where I am now. I finished teaching in early May, but I told myself that my sabbatical wouldn't really start till August 1st. I'd use the intervening three months to finish off my ongoing projects, and then I could really start. 

It's now August 27, and I'm thinking: I'll really start my sabbatical on September 1st. Time is a subtle thief.

But the last year has been very busy. Since about this time last year:

• I wrote and submitted four articles. One has been accepted, one rejected, and two are still under consideration.
• I've written two conference papers on brand new (to me) topics. I presented a third, but that was written in June 2013
• I wrote 2 book reviews
• I wrote a review essay covering 4 books
• I applied for 6 or 7 fellowships and grants
• I am currently in the middle of collaborating on an essay with a prominent scholar in my field (aka the reason my sabbatical "starts" Sept. 1 rather than Aug. 1)
• I taught four classes
• I finished my 4th year as graduate coordinator 
• I lived through two major renovation projects, packed up my entire house, and moved about 700 miles across country 

 I've been teaching for 10 years without a leave, and I'm ready for one. But how do I set goals? How do I judge my accomplishments? My most important task right now, though, is to take stock.